Can You Be a Christian and Struggle With (fill in the blank)?

- Craig Groeschel, Senior Pastor of Life Church

I find myself writing this blog post after feeling led to speak out to my brothers and sisters in Christ about some very real, but often not discussed, things in the church, that I believe can truly hold us back from true freedom and growth in our faith and community.

I'm a pretty transparent person, but not always the most vulnerable person. Last Sunday my pastor, Matt Miller of Roswell Community Church, preached a sermon discussing the difference between those two words that we often use interchangeably; and how we, as Christians, are called to "gospel vulnerability" with each other. Basically, being transparent is sharing real, sometimes even sensitive things, but in a controlled, filtered, or non-vulnerable way to not truly let people into what’s currently going on or have an opportunity to respond to who we really are. Whereas true vulnerability is actually sharing your heart to the point that you open yourself up to a real response from someone - with real risks of judgment or even rejection. Transparency isn't necessarily bad, in fact it can be good. Many testimonies people share in church are examples of being transparent: this is where I used to be, and this is where I am now(usually with a positive, happy ending). But vulnerability is where we actually experience true spiritual healing, growth and are strengthened.

All that to say, when I received that sermon, I felt clearly that God was speaking to me. I needed to stop controlling how I portrayed myself so much and truly be vulnerable. The previous week had just hit me hard, and I felt very strongly that I needed to put Matt's preaching into practice ...before I chickened out. As the all-or-nothing person that I am, the next day, I wrote a post in my social media feeds discussing my recent, current struggles and frustrations with my depression. Now, I do not recommend other people do this. PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS AS SAYING TO POST YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. It could go very poorly, and you could find yourself wounded. I do recommend finding a FEW other Christians whom you trust and who love you and being vulnerable with them, though. MUCH BETTER IDEA, in most cases.

"I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager." Just saying those words out loud is something I had learned to be embarrassed and ashamed about. There are many false teachings that get perpetuated in the church - including the idea that when you become a Christian your struggles will be eased, you will always be happy/ joyful, or that if you do x, y and z just right that God will answer your heart's desires/prayers the way you want.

You grow up singing theologically inaccurate songs as a kid in Sunday School like "I'm inright, outright, upright, downright happy all the time... Since Jesus Christ came in and cleansed my heart from sin, I'm inright, outright, upright, downright happy all the time."

But this is just completely untrue. Nowhere in the Bible does God promise us these things. At least not in this life. Yes, we ARE new creations, when we become saved, but that is in our soul only, until we get to be with Jesus. While we live on this broken earth, we still live in these broken bodies that hurt and ache in the same ways they did before.

However, it has taken (still is) awhile for me to learn that, and as a teen I often struggled with feeling like I didn't belong or worrying there was something wrong with me, because I couldn't live up to these false expectations of what a Christian should be, as hard as I tried.

I encountered in college, when my depression struggles were their worst, some well-meaning Christians, who, upon hearing I was on medication, told me that what I was dealing with was a "spiritual problem" and that medication was not the answer, that I just needed to pray harder, rebuke the devil, and claim Bible verses. This further frustrated me and made me feel all the more in despair, because they did not realize that I was already doing all those things. They assumed things about my faith that just weren't true. Many nights in college I would wake up at 2am, sit on the floor of my dorm bathroom, rock back and forth, shaking and crying and just asking God to let me die in my sleep, so that I could be in heaven with Him, because I had done everything and felt like there was no answer that was acceptable. The medication had been finally allowing me to feel some relief, and those well-meaning Christians had just hit me in the core with another blow in the gut. I became ashamed and embarrassed to reach out, and I began to hide my struggles for fear of judgment from fellow believers who just didn't understand. *see note at the end*

It took several years for me to realize that the guilt I was experiencing was based on lies and not from God, but there had been enough damage, by that point. Instead of drawing near to brothers and sisters in Christ, I perceived and anticipated rejection/judgment, so I dealt with my struggles more in isolation for a long time. Other than my immediate family, most people didn't realize what I was dealing with. I'm a decent faker, I guess.

I know that I am not alone. There are many who struggle with various things (various other mental illnesses, anger, pornography, alcoholism, addictions, physical or verbal abusers/abusees, homosexuality, and gender identity to name just a few) in the church, and feel that the fact that they struggle is unacceptable, and something to hide. It makes me so sad. Because hiding our struggles keeps them in the dark where they continue to keep us in bondage to them. In the dark and when we feel we have to fight alone is when Satan likes to prey on our weaknesses the most. It is in the light and through being loved by fellow believers through the mess that we can begin to truly experience the grace, hope, and freedom of our salvation in Christ.

"God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.

“If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth.

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us." (1 John 1:5-8)

“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible - and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.” (Eph. 5:13)

I share all this to say, if you struggle, you are not alone. The belief that if you struggle with (fill in the blank) it disqualifies you from being a believer or means you must be a weak-in-the-faith Christian is simply a lie that Satan loves to perpetuate. It is not Biblical. EVERYONE struggles with something. While we live in this broken, sin-tinged world, we WILL face every type of temptation and hardship that unbelievers do. Each of us has / will have a thorn in the flesh, big or small (always feels big to the one experiencing it), that will continue to rear it's ugly head. It took me a while to internalize this. Gracious! I've been dealing with depression for over a decade, and I'm ONLY recently recognizing this lie for what it is. A LIE. No such thing as unacceptable struggles.

What's different about struggling as a Christian versus before we were saved?

We have a place to go with these hurts and struggles. Our struggles remind us that this world is not our home, and point us to our God. We have a God who sees us where we are, loves us, hears us, understands us, and strengthens us to endure. Christ says over and over again, "In this world YOU WILL have trouble, but take heart! I have overcome the world!" (Jn. 16:33). There is no struggle that, as Christians, we are automatically immune to or removed from. Jesus suffered more than anyone, and He was God's own perfect son. God shows His strength in us as we walk through these weaknesses and burdens and LEAN ON HIM. We, unlike the unsaved, have true hope and purpose ALWAYS - even in the darkest, hardest places, because God's Son Jesus paid our price, and we know we don't walk through these struggles alone anymore, because we have a relationship with a personal God who promises to walk through the waters and fire with us (Is. 43:2) and is in complete control of our circumstances (Is. 54:16). 

If you are God's, rest assured, you are LOVED where you are, in all the mess and struggle, as well as the triumphs (which are only in Him).

If you ever want to talk or have any questions, send me a note or comment.

*End note*

I want to be clear about a few things on depression. There is another lie that circulates the church that mental illness is solely spiritual. This is particularly harmful, I believe, because it makes no sense. The brain is an organ of the body, just like the pancreas or the heart is. We do not tell diabetics or heart failure patients to pray their diseases away. Not only that, God refers to our beings as spirit (mind), soul and body (1 Thess. 5:23). He differentiates the mind and the soul as separate things. I am not denying that it CAN be spiritual. Because it can. As I said earlier, Satan can and does often try to use our mental illnesses/ weaknesses as a way to convince us of lies, isolate us, or get our focus off God. He uses cancer, diabetes, chronic pain and other diseases to do those things, too!

Sometimes it may actually be a solely spiritual depression/mental illness, but you don't KNOW another person's story. You cannot judge their faith based on what they struggle with. The best thing to do when you hear a fellow believer is struggling with something is to communicate that 1) you are with them in this and you love them, and 2) that you will join them in praying through the struggle.
Finally, I want to say that all the people who said those painful, unknowing things to me: I truly understand where they were coming from, in hindsight, and have no anger towards them. I do realize now that they said the things they did out of love and concern, and what they thought was true. I just hope that as many people as possible can become aware of the consequences of such remarks, so that no more people are unknowingly hurt, or worse, pushed further into the depths or, God forbid, suicide.